50-something-ith

This weekend, I managed to host what I have calculated to be my fifty-something-ith boys' all-nighter. My Live-Action Gears of War game was well received.

Next month, on the 24th, I will introduce The Labyrinth Game I have made up.


Active players:

Jingle-Men (2): Carries knife or shortsword without a shield; can be killed by sword wound, water balloon, acid; wears bells or windchimes causing jingling if moved.

Harpies (2-3): Throws water balloons, but only outside; can be killed by wound, acid; has nests where water balloons are stored.

Acid Creepers (2): Sprays or touches to attack; it is unknown how to kill an Acid Creeper; is blindfolded permanently.

Minotaur (1): Has mace and might have projectile; it is unknown how to kill a Minotaur; has a lair with Minotaur eggs.

Teams (3-5): Is composed of three members; carries an ice chest for the attempted collection of items; can achieve Pac-Man mode.

Non-Active players:

Gravekeeper (1): Records the deaths and the causes of deaths for all active players; oversees water balloon production; oversees the ghosthood and resurrection of active players.

Shopkeeper (1): Sells store goods; buys items collected from the labyrinth; updates the treasure map.

Villagers (1-?): Wanders in labyrinth; says weird things; does weird things.

Warden (1): Is Max Clark; makes you play by the rules; makes up rules on the fly; expects you to play by rules made up on the fly.

Items to be bought (with real money):

Sword
Pike
Shield
Acid spray
Map
Flashlight
Harpy water balloons
Gatorade/soda
Cookies
Milk
and maybe more!

Schedule Fall 2008

You, reader, are my newfound accountability partner...

Enrolled Classes for FALL '08

                             
Crse           Crse     Sec      Grd                                     
Code  Dept     Num  Typ Num Unts Opt    Days    Time          Bldg Room  
----  ----     ---- --- --- ---- ---    ----    ----          ---- ----  

36560 I&C SCI    22 LEC   A  6.0  GR mc   T T   03:30-04:50   PSCB 120   
36562 I&C SCI    22 LAB   2  0.0  GR     M W    06:00-07:50pm ICS  189   
44700 MATH     120A LEC   A  4.0  GR     M W F  11:00-11:50   ET   202   
44705 MATH     120A DIS  10  0.0  GR      T T   11:00-11:50   MSTB 122   
47584 PHYSICS   52A LAB   5  2.0  GR      T     06:00-08:50pm MSTB 117   
47628 PHYSICS  111A LEC   A  4.0  GR mc   T T   02:00-03:20   ELH  110   
47632 PHYSICS  111A DIS  A1  0.0  GR mc  M      01:00-01:50   RH   108   
47636 PHYSICS  112A LEC   A  4.0  GR mc   T T   09:30-10:50   PSCB 120   
47640 PHYSICS  112A DIS  A1  0.0  GR mc      F  01:00-01:50   PCB  1200  
                                                                        
      total units enrolled 20.0       0.0 p/np units                    
                                                                        
                                          mc = meeting room/time changed

Intro to Group Theory

This quarter is off to a great start:

Subject: No Math 120A section tomorrow
From: "Barry Smith"
Date: Wed, September 24, 2008 9:10 pm
To: 44700-F08@classes.uci.edu

I had a good laugh.

While I look down upon students who look down on learning, I also enjoy the camaraderie of rejoicing over canceled classes. Yipee!

For further reading, although nonessential, I have put copied down the following for students who want to push themselves or are in a graduate maxalanclark.blogspot program and want a more thorough understanding:

Dear class,

I am very excited about being your instructor for Math 120A this quarter.
Algebra is some of my favorite mathematics, and I hope that I can impart
some of my enjoyment of the subject through this class.

Because we have not had a lecture yet, there is no discussion section
tomorrow. See you on Friday.

Best Wishes,
Prof. Smith

Physics Fail

I missed the Physics department BBQ and the following soccer game because I failed to thoroughly read the email and determine that
1) the BBQ as not where the game was and
2) that the game was not where it was last quarter.

Furthermore, I failed to reach my (errant) destination(s) regardless, because the new car battery put in when I returned to California, managed to come a little lose and would not start my car. I might be registered for electromagnetism this quarter, but I had to wait an hour for the AAA towtruck to come reattach the negatively charged cable and make every thing "nice and tight" before I could then drive to the wrong field. However, I did have Harry Potter 6 with me, so I enjoyed reading about Harry getting all twitterpated for Ginny.

This all could mean any or all or two of three things:
1) magic > physics
2) the need to switch majors
3) establishing social ties with fellow physicists is not meant to be

Analogies #3-#17

"She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. "

Analogy #2

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

Poem #1

Free-Verse Poem About Girls

There's something alarmingly charming about girls.
They're smaller and softer than I.
They're terribly cute when they cry.
Ladies beware:
I'll act proud and strong, cavalier and crass;
sometimes I am quite an ass.

There's something disarmingly alluring about girls.
No matter their race, creed, or religion,
trust me, I won't care a smidgen.
Ladies beware:
I'll have a devilish urge when you're near
to seize and kiss you, I fear.

Blogger Spacetime Travel

Can someone explain why the last four posts are said to be posted at 9:41 AM?

If this claims otherwise, I am posting it at 5:46 PM on Thursday, September 18, 2008.

Remembrall

Thought of something I wanted to blog about while running.

Forgot it.

Analogy #1

"They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."

Phone #s

Interesting.

I added my phone number to the Facebook phone number glossary, or rather, phonebook.

(562) 774-7295

Nearly everyone went with periods to break up the digits.

Notably, Mark Makin, Jonathan Wright, and I did not.

Jonathan may have blundered a bit with an extra dash though.

"(562)-325-2541"

Blundering isn't like him.

I believe I would have chosen the parenthetical and dash without having looked at others' entries.

I want to say there's something to this, but I dunno.

What I want to say is the following:

Everyone's both trying to be cool and also our technological age has made the xxx.xxx.xxxx format cool (businesses have been doing it for a while, probably to appear sleek and technical like the internetting).

Louis did it, perhaps without thinking, because he has become accustomed to it, but prior to that familiarity considered this issue, thinks in this case that it is not a compromise to adopt the format and the advantage is to became appealing to his market; consumer perception is important and is not necessarily self-deception; using this format can actually represent having a finger on the pulse of whatever one needs to know the pulse of.

Makin broke suit, because he pays little attention to trends and is not a follower.

Jon and Max did it to uphold tradition and do not have a particular reason to break with it.

Max especially did it to flaunt his rebellion.

But I dunno.

Kids Book

In this blog post, the idea of dumbing down kids' books will be considered. I hate the idea of dumbing down kids' books. Alpha, the world is seriously obfuscated and not reflecting that, but reflecting some simple pimple version is dumb. This might give children a simplistic world view. It also doesn't give them insight into the Real World 2. Beta, when I was kiddish, my mom read the Lord of the Rings to me. I loved it. I didn't pick out "the only time we're given is the time we're given. duh." as my favorite quote though. I didn't recognize the folly of Saruman in messing around too much with naughty things.

What of little kids' books? I'm not talking about "learn how to read" books. Although I could. Would one consider Go Dogs Go dumbed down? That the world represented there makes evil out to be simple or love to be superficial, unlike in our world? No. Because dogs are pretty dumb and superficial, rather mercenary-like and their most evil acts consist of stealing food, or sometimes killing a baby. I'm sorry.

Whatever. I read Till We Have Faces the other days. And then I read about 2 pages of Confessions. And now I've read about 34 pages of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. What, couldn't use colons in the title, J.K.? Didn't think of that? Didn't even think of an ampersand either, huh? Just kiddin'. But not about the post.



















Couldn't find the cover art to Kids Book. This will have to do.

WoW

All right. Johann the South African has a friend who runs his own World of Warcraft server. This means Johann and I could play WoW without paying monthly subscriptions. Before you get too excited, I don't know how many free subscriptions I can toss out.

But playing WoW once ought to be done. Like reading Harry Potter. These are the classics of our age.

Also, we should start a clan. Picking classes wouldn't be unlike the Briggs-Myers stuff. We'll be elitist. We'll be fantastic. We'll gain notoriety. We'll experiment socially. We'll be the Sarah Lawrence Speech Society of Death Clan.

Ben: Tauren Druid
Louis: Human Paladin
Jon: Blood Elf Warlock
Brianna and Corie: Night Elf Priestesses
The South African: Drainei Mage
Josiah: Troll Shaman
Daniel: Undead Warrior
Max: Orc Hunter
The nunners: Gnomes of all sorts

Start reading up, guys. Also, we want to avoid blunders.

No? Video games are dumb? There's nothing worthwhile in playing around in a game that has 10 million subscribers? Yeah. You have a point. I hate fantasy. So childish.

Realistically I suppose I should just target the guys.

Hang on. One more argument (see below).

Hunger

I'm preoccupied with eating. Almost literally.

We spend so much damn time eating.

Do you remember those days, as a little boy, when you would skip a meal, or "scarf down" a meal in about 2 minutes, simply to run out and play again? Yeah you do. Those were good days. I recall jumping into the pool and still chewing under water during summer.

This blog isn't like that. I want this blog to be like that. I'm intentionally still here, not because I prefer this to eating, but because I want to recreate that time in my life. Why aren't my fellow Toscana Luxury Apartment neighbors all outside playing hide n'seek? Or freaking paintball. If you've been to the G-unit, you're familiar with the lab-rat maze within which it stands. It would make great terrain for some sort of live-action gaming.

Why aren't we doing that? Why are we eating?

Breakfast Time

Again, Johann gets off work at 5 PM or so. Yesterday, not 'til 6. And again, I just dropped that microbiologist off.

I am hungry; let's talk about eating. Sometimes I sit and wonder what everybody eats. What do you eat? There was a homosexual (East) Asian guy in my Mechanics course. He asked, "What do white people eat?" and was genuinely perplexed. He had rice. All the time. He said. It made up the bulk of his menu. What do I eat? I eat cereal. A hecka lotta cereal. Rice and cereal make sense to me. Bread is the basic food these days or grain or whatever. Carbohydrates provide the most calories/gram. Something like 9 kilocalories/gram. But, there are other foods. Like fruits and meat and...beans and nuts and sugar.

But what about fruits? Fruits are fantastic and I do eat them often. As many others have noted, fruits come ready made, ready packaged, while also being nutritious. Meats are freaking awesome, but cold cuts are much less so. I tend to eat meat seldom, due the difficulty in preparing it. If I were to always eat out, eating would be easy. As it is, eating is not easy. Preparation is killer. For no good reason, I'm a pretty cheap guy. That being said, I am terribly jealous of any Biolans with meal plans.

The eating habits of fellow college students interest me. I know a fair amount of college students, but I haven't lived in dorms and so I haven't really observed their eating habits. I've had one roommate. And now a South African, who hardly counts. We can't consider his eating habits normative.

Because I have a plan!
I am going to buy a lunch pail. Or cooler.
I am going to take my lunch to school with me.
Every day.
But I don't know what to put in it.
I am genuinely interested in chicken salad.
And potatoe salad.
And regular types of salad.
I have never made any of the above types of salad though.

I have hopes of efficiently preparing my week's lunches all on Sunday evening or something. Or with minimal effort and minimal grocery trips. I love efficiency and regularly estimate how much money I spent on gasoline driving 2.3 miles round trip to the grocery store. I think I might go eat some Cheerios with honey on top and a banana slices in it now. Which is what I had 1.5 bowls of last night around midnight. And for breakfast yesterday.

So what do white people eat?
What should I eat?

Maybe I'll be brave. I have eggs. I have hotdogs. I have onions. I bought tortillas with the explicit hope of eating them. I wish I had my potatoes back.

"Hell, it's about time."

Johann gets off work at 5 PM, when I'll pick him up. I have just dropped Johann off.

UC Irvine Fall quarter starts in 10 days.

I am in Irvine.
I am downloading Starcraft using Bit Torrent.
Idleness is the Devil's playground.

My reasons for downloading the first Starcraft are 1) it's a superlative game and 2) playing it will prepare me for Starcraft II. And Starcraft II is coming:


It is my intention to methodically and fastidiously play Starcraft II. I will practice alone, I will watch videos of other players, I will watch videos of my own play, I will read articles, I will analyze my playing, I will speak to other players, I will play in tournaments, I will mess around. Starcraft II will be the preeminent competitive PC game. It will have its subculture. It will not "express the personal viewpoint [of its designers] and express [their] sincere feelings." It will not be Braid:


This represents the two types of video games I am passionate about. They are not on either ends of a spectrum; they are distinct types. Although, one is a AAA title and the other is a small-budget indie game.

My download is finished.

Telepathy is Communication. Duh.

I quickly stop when I start down the self-analytical/self-referential road. It just doesn't hold the thrills for me it used to.

Because I enjoy reading my friends' blogs, because they act as one possible filter for dealing with the information of life that I can look through to see what I can see, because I want to improve my thinking and writing, because 0 posts is as far from infinite as 1,000 posts, here I stand, blogging on my bed.

1) Would a game with points for finding grammatical errors in my blog be worthwhile?
2) "This sentence is false" has never made sense to me.
3) "This sentence is true" has recently not made sense to me.
4) I don't believe in aliens.
5) I once acronymed my name in the following way:
Man
Animal
Xenomorph

Conflicted

The idea that the act of communication makes the communicated items worth less has corrupted me. Do I want to live in a telepathic universe? I suppose so. Do I?




I really considered stopping after my previous sentence.




I really considered stopping after my previous sentence.

Almost Infinite

This Summer, in Idaho, a dear friend of mine misspoke. Or maybe I misspoke. Or maybe I'm misspeaking now. Nonetheless, someone uttered, "...almost infinite." Immediately, I made fun of that person, unless I was already making fun someone by my saying it. This idea of Almost Infinite is funny. After some consideration, I realized that I am Almost Infinite. I had a beginning, which I cannot remember, but I'm not so sure I will end. So take my simple paradox, remember the Weight of Glory, do good work, and love one another.

I am named Max Clark.
And God gave me life.

May my biography begin:

He was named Max Clark.
And God gave him life.
And it was not wasted.